Well the second week has finished I'm not gonna lie this week was harder than last week in the prayer room I think it was the fact that it's super cold, there can be many distractions and the fact that I couldn't figure out why god has me here. Until friday it was like a switch went off in my head and in my heart. I journaled about five pages worth of nuggets from the lord telling me that I'm meant to be here in this season to focus on him. Not only on him but on who he is in me.
From being in YWAM the past few years they are very outwardly focused meaning serve others, focus on the nations, focus on discipleship one on one with people and a little bit of god. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love YWAM and what it's doing in the world. But there are other mission movements out there like THOP. They are focused on the marriage of prayer and missions. Which is a bit of a switch because when you spend 4 hours a day in the prayer room you are being discipled by the lord rather than man. Rather than being so hands on they are more hands off. They want you to wrestle it out with the lord rather than them telling you all the answers. Which didn't settle well with me until I discovered that they are focusing on the foundational values of the lord in you. Because you need to first know how god loves you in order to carry out the first two commandments.
So this second week I've been all over the bible trying to get into it but it hasn't been happening like last week. I've been more focusing on just sitting and journaling a lot. trying to comprehend how the one that created me loves me so much. So Friday was a breakthrough for that. I discovered that its not about my desires or passions it's about him and how and why he loves me so. He just loves and I think he's been knocking on the door for a while waiting for an answer. Waiting to see my face. But knowing myself I'm not very good at sitting still. I'm real good at doing things and filling my time trying to numb the pain of not knowing any better. But he just loves to love.
It's real simple. I didn't realize how simple it is. When you give an inch he gives a thousand miles. He gives his all and we just give 10% or the parts that we think we need fixing. I always knew it was simple but who knew!
I think the Lord just likes laughing a lot. I mean I know he laughs a lot at me and what I do and what goes through my head. Trying to figure out his plan for the future! How simple it is to worship him where you are! I have this massive snowboard poster in my bedroom, it is of the Canterbury plains down on the south island. It makes me feel like I'm on top of the mountain looking out at his creation. As well that it's all covered in snow helps too. Anyways back to my point, everything is a form of worship, we can be sitting, standing, snowboarding, driving, or whatever. You are constantly doing worship.
Anyways this is just a post to say that I'm lovesick for him and who he is in me.
Blessings,
C
From being in YWAM the past few years they are very outwardly focused meaning serve others, focus on the nations, focus on discipleship one on one with people and a little bit of god. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love YWAM and what it's doing in the world. But there are other mission movements out there like THOP. They are focused on the marriage of prayer and missions. Which is a bit of a switch because when you spend 4 hours a day in the prayer room you are being discipled by the lord rather than man. Rather than being so hands on they are more hands off. They want you to wrestle it out with the lord rather than them telling you all the answers. Which didn't settle well with me until I discovered that they are focusing on the foundational values of the lord in you. Because you need to first know how god loves you in order to carry out the first two commandments.
So this second week I've been all over the bible trying to get into it but it hasn't been happening like last week. I've been more focusing on just sitting and journaling a lot. trying to comprehend how the one that created me loves me so much. So Friday was a breakthrough for that. I discovered that its not about my desires or passions it's about him and how and why he loves me so. He just loves and I think he's been knocking on the door for a while waiting for an answer. Waiting to see my face. But knowing myself I'm not very good at sitting still. I'm real good at doing things and filling my time trying to numb the pain of not knowing any better. But he just loves to love.
It's real simple. I didn't realize how simple it is. When you give an inch he gives a thousand miles. He gives his all and we just give 10% or the parts that we think we need fixing. I always knew it was simple but who knew!
I think the Lord just likes laughing a lot. I mean I know he laughs a lot at me and what I do and what goes through my head. Trying to figure out his plan for the future! How simple it is to worship him where you are! I have this massive snowboard poster in my bedroom, it is of the Canterbury plains down on the south island. It makes me feel like I'm on top of the mountain looking out at his creation. As well that it's all covered in snow helps too. Anyways back to my point, everything is a form of worship, we can be sitting, standing, snowboarding, driving, or whatever. You are constantly doing worship.
Anyways this is just a post to say that I'm lovesick for him and who he is in me.
Blessings,
C
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