A little deeper

“Exploring the wilderness is like exploring a little deeper into your soul. Because it’s big enough, quiet enough and wild enough to find out who you really are.”

A little deeper into your soul -
God is big enough, quiet enough and wild enough to allow us to find out who we really are. It’s honestly an adventure no matter where you are! It’s so awesome to think of how amazing the Lord is. He is faithful to us, he is faithful to go to the depths of my soul, the places that I’m a little scared to go to. He knows exactly what we need and how we need it. I had a situation this past week where it was a bit hard, just with people around all the time and some people rubbing others the wrong way. That’s bound to happen when you live in community because it’s the beauty of learning how to do life together. Anyways, I prayed “Lord, I don’t want to be home tonight.” right after that my friend text me and said they were coming to pick me up to go hang out. They came, we hung out and then they dropped me home again. As I was getting out of the car, saying thank you for driving they said, “of course, we didn't want you to be home alone tonight!” I just stopped and smiled because the Lord is hilarious, he knows just what we need and he hears our little one lined prayers that we don’t think that matters but they matter to him. It was awesome and I had such a good night after a long day.

“It’s an exploration of where you’re coming from in life and, more importantly, where you’re bound to go.”

I love community it is like an incubator into more of the Lords heart. You learn how to live with people who can really rub you the wrong way and people who you would not normally hang out with, along with people who can become your lifelong friends. I love that in an authentic community we can call each other forth in love and out a heart posture that is being loved and filled by the Lord through different people. Everyday is an adventure when living in community, it’s even harder living with the people who you work with. The true test is when you can speak well of, love and laugh through the midst of frustration and suffering. That’s the point where the rubber meets the road.

“There are no boat motors here, or planes overhead, so all you hear is the earth itself. At night, when the sun goes down, you see the stars as you never have but the heavens are bright enough for all of us.”

This place which I create in my head is my quiet space. The place where only I can go and where only I know about. Whenever I need to get back to reality when so much is going on and I feel like a robot, I go here. I envision myself canoeing through a misty lake in the morning on a rainy/cloudy day. Where you’re not sure if it’s going to rain or not but there is a very good chance! (I love rainy days) A place where I can get out of the city world that I’m in and escape back to the place where I know the Lord speaks to me. A place where there’s no noise, no people, just you and the barrenness of the beautiful wilderness. The place where you really find out what you’re made of. Call me crazy I don’t care but I would rather be unreachable with the Lord than in the busyness of life that I don’t have time. Some people would go crazy but that’s the beauty of the Lord and how we are all wired differently! Love it, the complexity and simplicity when something comes together. It’s the same when you’re in community and you have some people who are complex and some people who are simple. Some are high maintenance and some are low maintenance. The most important thing is if you can love the person no matter what. Cultivating an authentic community is when you can love no matter what. We are called to first and foremost love one another as the father loves us. John 17 tells us that God loves us with the same love he has for his son. That’s crazy! The same love as the father has for the son he has for us. That’s a radical love!
It is hard to love no matter what but that is the beauty of life. Having a unoffendable heart is also key. When someone rubs us the wrong way do we stop and hand out the grumpy card or the patience card? Or do we get offended that they did that to us? We need to be a people who can look beyond what one another does and love. We need to look at how we can help one another, bear one another’s burdens just as Christ bore ours. He stood in the gap for us and took all our sin. We need to stand in the gap for our brothers and sisters and bear one another’s sins as well. When you slander that person that did something to you, have you ever stopped to think that they are a daughter/son of the living king? You are slandering on of the princesses/princes of the earth! It really puts the fear of the Lord on you when you think of it this way. I’m speaking to myself in this as well. The tongue is the hardest thing to maintain and to gain control of trust me.

My point in all of this is, that we need to gain our strength in the secret place with the Lord, through that it will be an overflow from our heart and our mouth will speak, by that we can love others with a free heart.

"Radically Ridiculous"

What can I say, this is the phrase that the Lord spoke this week. Because he is hilarious, we are allowed to be ridiculous. In the way of being undignified before him. Friday morning I spent that morning dancing in my chair to my music because I had the Joy that I hadn't felt in quite a long time. When I staffed the Snowboarders DTS back in 2011, I felt freedom that came through doing things to 'humiliate' myself in a good way. To punch through the ceiling of being 'Politically Correct' all the time and instead not caring what people think is a freeing thing. I remembered how I felt and went back to that. Because there is no greater joy than being free before the Lord. It's a sense of boldness that we all need to comprehend. It can be pretty scary at first but once you get past the awkwardness or the weird looks you find such a freedom. If we are trained in wildness, nothing can stop us. Hear my heart when I say wildness before the Lord is different from the wildness of the world. So Radically Ridiculous is the new reality that we all need to come to terms with.

The Sparrow

"Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life." - Isaiah 43:4

How are we more valuable than the sparrow?
I was posed with this question last week and I'm still chewing on it. In all honesty how are we more valuable than the sparrow. Think about it: the sparrow has everything he needs and does not worry from day to day. He just sings. So why do we worry from day to day? Well we are human but do we have faith? Of course we do. What a silly question I know. But in actuality do we have the faith that God will provide our every need? That in the mundane he will give us everything we need from finances to a place to rest our head at night? I know I struggle a little with this. We all do because we are human. The next verse says do not be afraid for I am with you!
We are created for His glory He formed and made us. He formed us for himself!! So I do believe that means He will take care of us. When the attitude (posture) of our heart is love, the thing that should overflow is love for one another because it is coming from Him. The second part of this verse I had trouble understanding but it is going through Jesus' life and this is the father saying that He will give men and people in exchange for Him. As well we can relate this to us in saying that we who have given our lives for him and left homes, mothers, fathers, brothers and lands for the sake of The Lord and the gospel will receive doubly what we gave up in this life and the life to come.
I can relate to this because I have left home for the sake of The Lord. I have been called to a different way of living. A different standard, a reject of the world. The Lord accepts all this whom the world has rejected. Those that do not conform to what the "norm" is. Paul calls himself the scum of the earth. It's not a negative thing it is simply saying that for The Lord I give up everything just to follow His name. Because he is worthy of it all. When you find your true identity in The Lord as a son or daughter you can only then cultivate a culture of authentic love and honour for your neighbour. He loved us first so that we could love him and others.
How awesome is that, when you first love the father because he is worthy you can then love others with a genuine love a wholehearted love.
All that to say we are not more valuable than the sparrow, the sparrow sings his song everyday without a care. We need to learn to be fully satisfied in Him.

Jaded Faces

“A Father’s love and arms of graces
All lost sons and jaded faces
A heart so strong it beats devotion
We were born looking for love
We’ve found the answer in our saviour’s blood
We turn to You from distant places
And find redemption in the journey back to you
A safer place in Your affection
Despite a world that screams for our attention
The Father’s love is ever constant”

The smell of a garage and a home always reminds me of my grandparents home during Easter. When we were kids we would go to my grandparents house and wake up in the morning to jellybeans and eggs hidden in the house along with our basket. I’m currently house sitting for a family while they are away on holiday and the smell of their home brings back all these memories when I was a kid. It’s great to remember the times when you’re little to now when I’m living in a different country so far from my family during the holidays.
This weekend break has been really great to just sit and be. I enjoy “getting to know myself” again. Mainly because these last few weeks have been really crazy and full on. We only have a month left of this internship which is bittersweet. I have so enjoyed this season with the interns we have in and with the different staff we have working.
The song above that I have posted the lyrics to has been a song that’s caught me off guard. It speaks of finding love and returning to our first love - the Father. I know that in the mundane of life we can begin to have a jaded face, I know that I have in some way or another. We need to set our faces like flint to the Lord. It's a hard lifestyle, very challenging, rewarding and teaches you a lot. It's a simple lifestyle that can be the hardest to live out. Revival comes through those that hope for the impossible. Revival is messy, in any sense whether it be in your own life, a city, nation or the entire world. It is going to be messy - meaning when that many people come to the Lord don't think the enemy won't put up a fight. When you set your face like flint, you are ready for anything at anytime. I was thinking hard about what flint is, it's what you strike when you want a spark to form, when you want to start a fire in other words. I want the Lord to start a fire in me to burn for all the world to see. I am a reject of the world, but accepted in my Father's presence and affection.

Happy Easter everyone! Have blessed holidays with family and friends wherever you are!

This week

It's been a very good start to the internship this year!! We have put on a worship night in a local church where we had many amazing people come out to receive what The Lord had for them!
As well church has been explosive since we started this year!!! There is only more to come and happen! This weekend we have the convergence conference where three streams of prayer, missions & local church are becoming one. It will be radical and epically amazing!!

We have had the privilege of having Graeme & Sabrina Walsh speak this week to our interns & impart the wisdom they have.

It has been a great start to the year with everything The Lord is doing through different people and at this time.

Blessings,
C

So far

It has been an amazing kickoff to these next three months with seven hungry interns!
All the way from the marae visit of getting welcomed onto the land and passing through the gates to pray for revival in this nation to sitting on a Saturday reading the book of revelation.
I love this country and all the diverse people it brings! It brings me much joy to pray for this land and all the inhabitants of it.
Please pray for this season as it is a transitional one. Also for finances in this season that The Lord would provide and does provide all we need!

Blessings,
Courtney

Gather Experience

What is community living? Let’s define it, It’s people, situations, meekness, listening, discipleship & radical serving/love. It’s the opportunity to gather experience, the beautiful love dance between people and God. To learn to love complete strangers by living with them is an art. An art that takes time to cultivate & find the groove to doing life together under the word. It should not be taken lightly that the Christian has the privilege to live among other Christians. Even Jesus lived in the midst of his enemies.

“You have to go wholeheartedly into anything in order to achieve anything worth having.” - Frank Lloyd Wright

Learning to bear one another, as Christ bore us. Enduring the brethren, enduring hardship well. Just as Christ bore our sin, He stood in the gap and makes intercession for us to the father so that we may be forgiven. We need to stand in the gap for our brothers and sisters and make intercession for them, in that case we are enduring them by enduring the cross.

To obtain eternal life we must learn to endure persecution, suffer well! It takes a violent faith, violent love, to be able to grasp the knowledge that is to lofty to obtain. We must fight for the ones we love, especially Jesus. He loves us enough to stand in the gap himself and pray to the father on our lowly behalves. it’s not an easy thing if it was then we would not want it. It is something dear to the father’s heart - How good and pleasant is it when brothers live together in unity. Bearing one another by living together. Through going low in humility and serving one another. To call yourself the greatest is actually to call yourself the lowliest of all! To be familiar with sufferings, to endure persecution without resentment is when you are truly displaying meekness and holiness unto the Lord. Jesus endured the harshest persecution, he had done no violence, spoke nothing bad, but yet he was persecuted for it. After suffering, he will see the light of life and be satisfied. If you want to live a Godly life, you will be persecuted for many things in your life.

Ruined for the ordinary; Called to the extraordinary. We are ruined for what is normal, we will lead a nomadic lifestyle, we will endure persecution and we will need to be silent and endure it without resentment. Intercede for those that persecute us. As in community living, we are to bear the burdens, as Christ bore us. We are to love one another through many things. Life together brings out the real rawness in people. We are all searching for authenticity in one another but we truly find it in the Lord, only he can show us what it is.

The kindness he had to not wipe us off like little scum, amazes me. The Lords kindness and mercy to intercede on our behalf is glorious and painful all at once. It shows me he is willing - an innocent man took my burdens and sins, yet he still prays for me to the father, to be with him in heaven. The glory of the servant is his mercy and kindness he has upon us. He is glorified by being brought low. He went through the lowliest of all things and He is glorified! We praise this man who was marred beyond human likeness. We indeed suffer these days for the gospel - we are/will be persecuted for what we believe/who we believe. We are striving for eternal life with the one that has called us from the time of our confession. Contending for the eternal life on this earth now, we will endure persecution, but when we have our mind/thoughts on the things above with the end goal in mind, it makes it a bit more bearable. The posture of our heart and the focus/ intention we have in our lives determines how/what we will go through to obtain just a glimpse of the glory of the Lord. We are to be a dwelling place for the Lord, to cultivate our deep well, for the Lord to bestow his glory, the deep things he only has for the ones he loves.

To please God… to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness… to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son - it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain. - CS Lewis

He delights in us as an artist in his work. He has made us a real ingredient, there is an authenticity in all of us. When you add things to a pot, they have a different role. As the body, we all have a different purpose. A house as the pot and all living in community, we are the ingredients for something so divine or something disastrous. We are called to something higher up the mountain, the perseverance we must have, the patience we must have sometime feels impossible to obtain. This is where grace comes into play. The grace to see freedom in a brother by bearing a brother and enduring persecution with him. To see our brother free is something we should want more than our own freedom. To lay down our lives for our brother to be free by walking out the example of freedom yourself.

Fuego

Keep the earth below my feet

For all my sweat, my blood runs weak

Let me learn from where I have been

Keep my eyes to serve and hands to learn

Keep my eyes to serve and hands to learn

- Below my feet

As the year has come to an end and the New Year has entered, we reminisce about what happened in 2012 and wonder about the unknown of 2013. With every year we pass by, we gather experience from the things that have happened, they add to the integrity of our character. We all face hardship in our own way which will either build on or solidify the foundation you're standing on. As well as joy and laughter, we will all experience much of this in our lifetimes. 

With every new year it holds a great unknown. A deep sea of opportunities to set things right, aim for new heights, meet new people and so on. The key is to actually have the integrity to carry these out for the whole year and not just the first week/few days of the year. It takes 21 days to form a habit. Think about the things you want to accomplish this year! Then think about how you're going to do it! 

I have a love/hate relationship with the unknown. Black and white is more my style. The gray area and I are becoming better acquainted which has caused a bit of stretching and growing in a good sense. I feel 2013 will be more of this, which in the end when you look back at what you've gone through, it really wasn't that bad. Going through it you never think it's going to end. All in all, I do love diving into the unknown and seeing what the Lord has in store in his plan. I'm looking forward to reaching new heights and ascending the mountains...

Your eyes they tie, me down so hard

I'll never learn to put up a guard

So keep my love, my candle bright

Learn me hard, oh learn me right

This ain't no sham

I am what I am

-Not with haste