The Meaning of Life!

"The Meaning Of Life"
It only takes one to make a difference
It takes a little to change
Lets start today for a new tomorrow
Don’t look back
I wont look back now
Hey yah gonna find a new beginning
Lately tired of the life I’m livin
Find a way to make a change
In the lives of all of us who need
To find the meaning of life
We run the race just to keep our distance
Our lives we must rearrange
Lets chase away all our fear and sorrow
Don’t hold back
I wont hold back now
Hey yah gotta find a new beginning
Lately tired of the life I’m livin
Find a way to make a change
In the lives of all of us who need
To find the meaning of life
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Life Life
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Life

To find the meaning..
Hey yah gotta find a new beginning
Lately I’m tired of the life I’m livin
Find a way to make a change
In the lives of all of us who need it
Today’s the day don’t hesitate
Everybody with me sing
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na [x4]

 

- Hawk Nelson

 

I don't know why but I've been reminded of song lyrics lately since we arrived in Chiang Mai and most of them inspire me or keep me going to finish strong. Today is our free day and I woke up at 9:30am and left by myself at 10am. Everyone was still asleep. I just needed some time with me and God! It was so great I went and sat in a coffee shop for 2 hours just writing in my journals and people watching. After being out last night and seeing all the prostitution here in this city, God has really shown me how he fills me up. All the people last night were so empty and I could see that. They haven't found the meaning of life, they have just found their old disgusting man for one night that they think sweet he can fulfill what I need just for tonight then tomorrow night I can have someone new. It makes me so sad and angry. When we walked around last night I was praying for the people in the bars we passed and for the families of some of these married white men that come here for that. It's so sad to see, I just wanted to get on a box last night and say to all the men wearing wedding rings WHAT DOES THAT RING MEAN TO YOU!!!! But I know it probably wouldn't have done any good because we have that same problem in the states. I really felt God holding my had last night and I felt him blinding my eyes from some of the things. My heart breaks for empty people, the people who don't know any better. When I was out this morning there are a lot of the old men out from last night either walking to their hotel or to their meetings or what ever they came to Chiang Mai to do in the day. We are leaving tomorrow for Laos. Hopefully there will be more backpackers up there for us to meet and talk to. In this city there are more elderly couples here vacationing. Which is also good and I have talked to some people but our main focus is backpackers. I know God is going to do something amazing with our group and with me. I still don't know why I'm in Thailand yet and I don't really know what God is going to use me for, but there is a reason I'm here. I hope everyone is well and I hope you all have a Happy New Year! God Bless!!!

What would people say?

"Separated, I cut myself clean, from a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams, been apprehended by a spiritual force, and a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced, I saw a man with a tat on his big fat belly, it wiggled around like marmalade jelly, it took me a while to catch what it said, cause I had to match the rhythm of his belly with my head, 'Jesus Saves' is what it raved in a typical tattoo green, he stood on a box in the middle of the city, and claimed he had a dream, What will people think, when they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak, What will people do when they find that it's true, I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak, There ain't no disguising the truth, Kamikaze my death is gain, I've ben marked by the maker, a peculiar display, the high and lofty, they see me as weak, cause I won't live and die for the power they seek, there was a man from the desert with naps in his head, the sand that he walked was also his bed, the words that he spoke made the people assume, there wasn't too much left in the upper room, with skins on his back and hair on his face, they thought he was strange by the locusts he ate, the pharisees tripped when they heard him speak, until the king took the head of this Jesus Freak, What will people think, when they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak, what will people do when they find that it's true, I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak, there ain't no disguising the truth, people say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger, that my best friend was born in a manger!" - DC Talk Jesus Freak

I will take away the chariots from Ephraim and the war-horses from Jerusalem, and the battle bow will be broken. He will PROCLAIM PEACE to the nations. His rule will extend from seat to sea adn from the river to the ends of the earth. - Zechariah 9:10

Hello everyone! I am doing well here in Thailand. We arrived in Chiang Mai this morning on an over night bus from Bangkok. It has been great here in Thailand so far. We have been on the go ever since we got here. I have been reminding me of this song and how we have to not care what people think of us when we proclaim the name of Jesus when we are in public places. I am a warrior for God and I have to stay strong for the nations we are going to be in and for the places we will be in rather they are spiritually dark or when we meet people on the street. We can't let the fear of man over take us. If we let that happen then there is no point in doing anything because we are to worried about what people think. Thailand has such an amazing culture. The people here are so amazing and nice. We have realized as a team and I have realized as an individual that we really do have authority here when we walk in the streets and when we go into places. God is so good and amazing. He has really blessed me and what he has been teaching me are things that I could only learn here and now with the people that I am with. We will most likely be going into Laos next week or in two weeks but we aren't sure. Although we don't really  speak their language we can still communicate. It's interesting but cool at the same time. People have the same sort of body language so I have found that I communicate best that way by hand gestures and by smiling, they are so nice. It hasn't really been a big culture shock I've found which is suprising because I thought it would be. Other than adjusting to the heat and the humidity it has been pretty good. Chiang Mai is nice and cool around 60's at night and 70-80 during the day. Bangkok was about 95 with a humidity index of 94%. Crazy hot! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and have a Happy New year! I do have a prayer request and that is for my health. I have a bad cold with a stuffy nose, cough, and a fever. So I would really appreciate your prayers Thank you and God Bless!!!

Just to let you all know that I am also updating our team blog:
http://www.teamthailandcambodia.blogspot.com/
So you can go check it out and follow us as we go on our travels around southeast asia. I will update this one as well though.

It's Time!

Hello everyone! I hope everyone is Merry in this Christmas season! I fly out for Thailand today (December 22nd) at 5pm. We went to the International Rainbow Gathering here in New Zealand but decided after one night that it was just to dark for us and there were to many spirits that we couldn't really break, all in all it was just heavy and more of a long term commitment type of project. We left for Kaikoura and spent the night there and did ministry as well. Then we left and spent last night in Oxford at a campground. Now we are on base and getting things packed up and ready for Thailand. We have really come together as a team and I am so excited for what God is going to use me for as an individual. I can really feel something brewing deep within me that needs to burst out like a sick of dynamite in me that will probably explode may be into prayer and intercession or who knows. We will be flying with one of the India teams today. We will get to Bangkok at 1am December 23rd. We will go straight to the Thailand base and rest so that we can start the day with ministry and catching up on sleep. The Thailand Base is going to accommadate us for the time being they are hooking us up with different churches and with organizations that are so helpful. We will be spending Christmas with the other India team because they had a later flight so they have a 16 hour lay over in Bangkok. It will be so great to see them again. These next 2 months I have a feeling are going to fly right by! Some prayer requests I have are: Health for our team, Protection, Continued Unity, and for our families as we are away this time of year. Thank You all so much for your support and for your prayers! God Bless!

A bitter sweet...

It will be such a bitter sweet see ya later!!! It's not goodbye because we will see each other soon. Saturday is the day though. We are leaving for the Rainbow Gathering here in NZ. Until Tuesday the 22nd when we leave for Thailand. We are flying with one of the India teams to Bangkok then they will continue on to India. I am excited even though it can be stressful at times, I can see the blessing in everything like in my team and in my love for God with what he is going to do. We have been praying over each other here not just in lectures but also in my room, last night we had the honour of two Crossroad Students come and join Lydia and I. We shared what we had been struggling with and prayed over each other. It was amazing... Just to have that accountability of older people. (Crossroad students are over 30 years of age) Although most of them don't act their age. I am so stoked to see what God is going to do in Thailand with me. I know I will be stretched and I know that I will have to have patience with some people and with some situations that we are in. God has given me a real heart for loving the unloveable and for the unreachable people. It breaks my heart when I see or hear people that don't know what love is or they don't know how to love. My mom never stopped hugging me even when I really didn't want a hug she would still hug me... (thanks mom!) Unconditional love is the answer for all nations for all the people walking on the street. I pray that you are all doing well, and that God would bless all of you over the holidays with bringing families together and praising our God!!!

Love Feast...

The Set up...

Our pictures!

My Mortal Sarah

My Roomies!! Rebecca, Lydia, Me, Sam & Liz

Matt, Joel, Kent, Anthony, and I

The sunset

Joel, Derek, Matt, Anthony, Jordan & I

The dashing Anthony and I being our usual selves.

Anthony and I

Kristin & I

Well what a week this has been! We had Angels and Mortals week. This is where we each pick a name out of a hat and that is our mortal. So we are all Angels and we are all Mortals the whole base is included. Throughout the week we have to bless our mortal without them knowing who we are. My angel was amazing! They blessed me with flowers, I was carried by four guys to the front of the line at luch and served lunch,  I had a trail of flowers leading me from my bed to the freezer where there was ice cream for me, I had a poem read to me by a bunch of guys at lunch time and many lovely notes of encouragment. I blessed my mortal with notes, some in chinese because I had a cross road student and they are going to china for outreach, Tea, a coffee mug, and suckers being delivered personally to her each day. I loved this past week, just to bless someone without them knowing. On Friday we had the Love Feast a dinner put on by the staff for us. It was so lovely, we told everyone how our angel blessed us and then we had to guess who our angel was. Mine was Kristin and my mortal was Sarah. It was also relationships week so we have been learning about relationships. It has been a good week, God has really shown me where I need to grow and where he is going to be stretching me.

My ravishing sister Laura & I

Earthcare is leaving on Monday 3am for outreach in Cambodia... I really don't know how I feel about this. This means that Sam and Liz are going to be gone out of our room and I won't see them until March when I come back for their graduation. So this also means that I won't see Laura for 4 months. Her and I have formed this bond of sisterly love that is so amazing because I've never had a sister, I look up to her so much. She reflects God's light on so many people and she is so unique. I just love her and I'm going to miss her! I'm going to miss all of them don't get me wrong but her and I have something special!

So with them leaving Monday this means that we leave for outreach in 10 days! That is just so crazy! I will be in Thailand in 10 days! I am going to celebrate Christmas and New Years in Thailand, How many times can I say that in my lifetime? - Not many... I am so stoked for outreach and for the people we are going to be meeting. Although I am going to miss the other people that are going to India and Napal and the ones staying here in New Zealand. I can't believe that we have been here for 3 months already. I was just talking to Jordan and we both said that it felt like last week that we all just met eachother. Now we all have our stories and nicknames for eachother. This lecture phase has been such a pleasurable memory, full of laughter if nothing else. I really believe that's how we all came together was by love and laughter.

I found out that my Motivational gift is Mercy making me most like John, who was Jesus' best friend, the Apostle of Love. He attracts needy people and is very much lead by the heart. I found this fascinating because it's so true! I really have learned over these past 3 months that I have a lot of Love and Compassion for people that I don't even know yet. I have found myself very emotional which is good because I used to hide my emotions but now they come out even when I don't want them to. I think I cried 3 or 4 times this past week just with things I've been dealing with and with things that I know I need to work on. God is so good and he amazes me everyday, I am inspired by him and he gives me the willingness to become a better person for him each day!

Prayer Requests!

Here are some prayer challenges for the countries we will be going to!!!



THAILAND:


- Human Trafficking, Sex industry is 14% of the GDP, black market used more than legal market, 90% of the 2.5 million population is Muslim, growth in the Thai church is disappointing



CAMBODIA:


- Spiritual darkness, 2 million killed by the Khmer Rouge, 50,000 (1/3) of all prostitutes are estimated to be children, HIV is on the rise, has the highest rate of child abandonment in Southeast asia, 65% literacy rate, 82% of population is Buddhist, only 1.19% is christian, government corruption has lead to country wide poverty, efforts to bring democracy have been manipulated by corruption and the restored monarchy may not survive





LAOS:


- 57% literacy, communist leaders still in full political control, 61% persecution rate, 1.85% christians, many unreached people groups, christian work is not officially permitted, 90% of all christian trained leaders left the country in the late ’90’s

 VIETNAM:


- 6th highest in the world for persecution of christians, communist nation, need to be open for missionary work, people are imprisoned for their faith, the leaders of Vietnam, they are proving responsive for the gospel, the need for economic development is making a way for more people to come in, missionaries are not aloud into the country, christian literature is in high demand.

Glory...

We are all immature in the beginning of our walk with God. These are the highlights of what Dalton was speaking on and this is what I have been thinking about this past week about my life and how far I've come and how far I'm going:

• 
  
  We are all immature in the beginning of our walk with God
  
  
  
• 
  
  If you feel weak & adored = you will live a life of love for God
  
  
  
• 
  
  The wrath of God has been quenched by Jesus
  
  
  
• 
  
  We know God loves us, but does he enjoy us?
  
  
  
• 
  
  He knows me better than I know me
  
  
  
• 
  
  We want to follow him but sometimes our immaturity won't let us
  
  
  
• 
  
  God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him!
  
  
  
• 
  
  We love him because he loved us first
  
  
  
• 
  
  He professes his love for us although he knows we will fail
  
  
  
• 
  
  Love is prefected in us when we cast out fear and condemnation of our father
  
  
  
• 
  
  The only way to break shame is by the father's love!
  
  
  
• 
  
  Luke 15: He wants us home with him, he takes us back no matter what, we are still part of the inheritance, he is full of mercy, we bring him pleasure.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Micah 7: Delight in mercy
  
  
  
• 
  
  We need a POWER (where he comes and loves us well) encounter with God
  
  
  
• 
  
  Weak or willing? Strong or Rebellious? Which one are you?
  
  
  
• 
  
  The more you hold the harder it is to back off
  
  
  
• 
  
  We will suffer because of what God gives us to handle
  
  
  
• 
  
  Have courage to get through the suffering
  
  
  
• 
  
  You signed up to compete with rules (bible)
  
  
  
• 
  
  When you said yes to this call you said yes to suffering
  
  
  
• 
  
  Grace = when you get something you don't deserve
  
  
  
• 
  
  Suffer well
  
  
  
• 
  
  We signed up for the WAR AND THE ARMY not just the Army...
  
  
  
• 
  
  Enjoy God in your suffering
  
  
  
• 
  
  Fight long-term
  
  
  
• 
  
  God is our great reward
  
  
  
• 
  
  Keep the faith well - Fight with endurance - Have a vision to finish well
  
  
  
• 
  
  When you suffer as a christian - CELEBRATE!
  
  
  
• 
  
  We associate with Jesus so our friends may not like us because we are not like them
  
  
  
• 
  
  We're yoked with Jesus
  
  
  
• 
  
  We suffer for God's gain
  
  
  
• 
  
  He keeps us weak so we won't become arrogant with the gifts he gives us
  
  
  
• 
  
  Weakness keeps us humble
  
  
  
• 
  
  When I am strong I don't have the power of God in me only through weakness
  
  
  
• 
  
  He is more valuable than everything
  
  
  
• 
  
  Don't think it's strange when you suffer
  
  
  
• 
  
  Be willing to be willing to go!
  
  
  
• 
  
  Weak broken people will change nations
  
  
  
• 
  
  Heaven is coming to earth!
  
  
  
• 
  
  Lift your vision!
  
  
  
• 
  
  Preach the word - Be sober minded always - Endure suffering - Do the work of an evangelist - Fulfil your ministry
  
  
  
• 
  
  When God's vision is displayed, his purpose is fulfilled
  
  
  
• 
  
  If we never fall, we would never know the attributes of God.
  
  
  
• 
  
  We are his beloved
  
  
  
• 
  
  We are most longing when we are most satisfied
  
  
  
• 
  
  Be more in love with the man rather than the wedding day
  
  
  
• 
  
  God is commited to my joy
  
  
  
• 
  
  Honor him through your delight not through your duty
  
  
  
• 
  
  Worship will only be intense as you're glory experience
  
  
  
• 
  
  Your will is subject to your physical needs
  
  
  
• 
  
  No one will please God in the flesh only the blood
  
  
  
• 
  
  Behavior follows the heart
  
  
  
• 
  
  What you behold you become
  
  
  
• 
  
  Why do I have a desire for God? - He wounded us on the inside
  
  
  
• 
  
  Satan belittles the glory of God
  
  
  
• 
  
  God magnifies his glory!
  
  
  
• 
  
  People will give all they have when they know he is the treasure
  
  
  
• 
  
  Salvation is a means the end is the Glory of God
  
  
  
• 
  
  God's greatest gift to us is himself = greatest act of love!
  
  
  

 So I have bolded some of these because they are some of the ones that affected me more than the others. We need to be weak so that he can build us up. When we are weak we are most vulnerable in him. Some Christians think that oh sweet now I'm going to heaven so I don't have to worry about anything now. NO that's not it. The people who do that just sign up for the army and some train and learn more but they arn't in it for the war. When we actually do go to war we need the weak people that God is going to make strong and say hey follow them. We need to trust in him to raise up leaders.

"Who you hang out with you become..." Have you ever heard that saying before? I have and it's true. When you hang out with the cool kids you will over time become like them, if you hang out with the pot smoking drinking until you don't know who you are type of people you will most likely become like them. Catch my drift? So when you hang with Jesus you most likely will become like him which is what he wants! He wants you to come to him crying and without energy that is when I feel most close to God when I have no energy or words or when I've been thinking about a lot and most when I'm crying. He will just take you in his arms and comfort you. It's like when you scrap your knee when your young and your dad just takes you in his lap and you tell him everything that happend and he just listens holding you then eventually he is crying because he hates to see you hurting and he wants to take the pain away. God does take the pain away. He won't let you off his lap until every wound is healed and when you stop crying. He just wants to love on you. He wants to get you ready to fight the fight and to Finish Well. We need to finish well, when you prepare for a race you stay focused and all the coaches say finish well that's what your goal is, when you are weak and tired you need to rely on things that will get you through to the end and finish well.

We have to enjoy God also. We love him yes but do you like him? Do you enjoy him? He loves us but does he enjoy us? The answer is yes. It's just like in a relationship with a man or woman here on earth. But we go the other way we like them first then move into loving them and then you have to ask your self if you enjoy them? That's why I think some people are more excited about the wedding day than the actual marriage. So much time and effort goes into one day but what about the rest of your life?

That kind of plays into the Lift your vision point. That means we need to have a vision of where God wants us to go and of what God's vision is. Where is our world headed in the next 10 years? Where is our generation taking us? What are people thinking? What is your worldview? Where do you see yourself going? I honestly don't know where I am going I'm just trusting in God to point me in the right direction and for him to send me wherever because I'm willing to go. I encourage all of you who read this to just think about all this and to pray about it may be God will reveal something to you that you had no idea about. Something about his vision that you play apart in, that without you it wouldn't work. We are all part of the body although we are different parts, we are all needed to make it complete.

I hope all of you are well and hopefully staying warm, with all the Christmas shopping and decorating going on hopefully not to stressful! It's about 70 here today so nice and sunny, it's been rainy the past week so it's nice to see that the sun is still part of the sky. God Bless you all!

Where has the time gone?

Well things have just been flying by! I can't believe it. In 15 days we leave for outreach. I am excited but also sad at the same time because I won't get to see everyone until we get back in February. This week we have been learning about Biblical Worldview and Missions with Dalton Lifsey. He is an amazing speaker from the International House of Prayer (IHOP). He has made me want to read the bible more and I have realized that I don't spend enough time with God. In my usual day at home I would if I remembered, but not usually. Here on base we do spend a lot of time with God, but when I want to not spend time with him I can shut him off like I do at home. God is a lifestyle not just a person you can spend time with 2 hours a week at church or in a bible study. Sure you can go to those things I know people at home who are so involved with the Church and that's great, but you don't need to be involved with the church in order to talk to God. For instance I'll put it this way: You are getting married to God as your groom. Sure you're excited in the beginning when you're getting to know him and what his likes and dislikes are. Then you get more intimate with him and sharing more about your past and future. Then the wedding day comes, it is exciting and it is one of the greatest days of your life but you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person. You need to be more excited about the rest of your life with him instead of being more excited about the wedding day. Make sense? Hopefully because this sure hit me this week. I realized that I need to spend more time getting to know him and just enjoying him and his beautiful creation that's around us! God has rocked my world this week and made me feel unconditional love for people that I really need to love like God loves...

Did someone say Peach?

Liz, Rebecca, Lydia, Me, & Sam

Liz, Rebecca, Lydia, Me & Sam

Liz, Rebecca, Lydia, Sam, & Me

These are my lovely roommates! They are just so amazing and my sisters in Christ. I don't know where I would be without them. They make my day, we always talk at night in our peach room which we found out that the color peach means Protection, Strength, Confidence, and Communication. Which makes sense for all of us. We all compliment each other in different ways. For instance we all have different love languages and we all understand each one. My love languages are physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. They were my three highest. Physical touch is a no brainer because I'm a massage therapis, quality time because I love spending time with people and getting to know them, acts of service because I just love doing things for people unexpectantly without them knowing. Lydia's is Quality time. Sam's is Acts of service, Liz's is Quality time and words of affirmation, Rebecca's is Words of affirmation. So as you can see we all compliment each other nicely. We are the only room in this house that bonds together and talks everynight. I just find it funny that we do because our room is really the cream of the crop. But we have grown to love it and each other...

West Coast

This past weekend we went to the West Coast. It is so different from the east coast. Just like in the states how the west and east coast are different. It was so good to see the ocean again, just something about it makes me smile. I feel closer to God when I'm near something that is so huge in his creation like the ocean. We stayed in a hostel that was right on the ocean, we met some nice people. 2 guys from Germany, Pascal & Daniel they were very nice. Daniel made curry bread and shared it with us all, he and I talked about baking he said he loves to bake and so do I. He gave me the name of a chef Jamie Oliver. He said he has his cook book and uses it for traveling because the recipes are so easy to follow. They were so nice. We went to see the pancake rocks which they look exactly like pancakes stacked on top of each other, along with blow holes in the rocks, where the water would shoot out of. All in All it was a very good weekend. Great weather on Sunday and although it was a long van ride over there we still had fun. This week Backpackers are all by ourselves. Earthcare and Crossroads is gone, so there are not a lot of people on base, it's kind of weird but it's nice and peaceful. My room has lost 2 people Liz and Sam are earthcare students. We miss them so, they are gone for this entire week. Our room is like a home we all are sisters and we all care about and love each other so much, I love it because I have that sisterhood here and we all keep each other in check. But for now it is a rainy day and I need to catch up on some things. I hope everyone is doing great out there and I thank everyone for their prayers! 

Ugh...

The amazing Night Sky...

Rebecca, Lydia, & I Having roommate bonding time...

Joel & I

                                                                                    Anthony & I having fun...

My Small Group!

Liz & I with Lydia creeping in the back

Being Blessed to Bless...

Yesterday morning, all the girls woke up to the guys making us breakfast. On DTS the guys are supposed to bless the girls and the girls are supposed to bless the guys. They made us breakfast and cleaned everything up, it was so nice! They however had no idea that we had been planning for a week to bless them last night, for thanksgiving today. It's funny how that works. We made apple crisp, with vanilla ice cream. We cut out hands that we traced and put each guys name on them, then we had the girls write encouraging things on there. So as for the final big night we blindfolded the guys, brought them over to our house, sat them on the couches, popped the streamer poppers at them (that was funny because they all thought they were getting shot at) then each girl had one had and read 3 things off of it, while the guys were still blindfolded. Then we served them their dessert. It was so nice and they all really appreciated it. Yesterday was just a blessed day! I'm so thankful for everyone here. The stars were out and so bright last night. I layed in the middle of the road just watching them, as well as watching for cars since I don't have a death wish. I love the stars they just make me so happy...

Fantastic!!!!

Today was a fantastic day! You know why... I called my Grandma Rita!!!! I was so happy to talk to her and my grandpa Kurt!!! It was so good to hear voices from home other than my mom. Which her voice is good too, don't get me wrong. When she answered the phone she was shocked that it was me because she wasn't expecting me to call her from half way around the world. hehe. I did though, she is such a lovely lady whom I am very much like. I'm glad someone gets where I'm coming from! It was just so nice it's like having a piece of home with me. Today was a very relaxing day of just sitting around in the sun and napping! It was just what I needed. This week is very relaxing compared to last week although last week was so amazing! Tonight we had small group and we gave eachother pedicures and just talked and prayed over each other. It was so nice just to hang out with girls where we can keep each other accountable, and help each other with whatever we are struggling with.

Eh?

Petra & I at the soccer game we played against the Snowboarders...

Coffee from Hanmer when we went to the springs, coffee gets me through the day...

Stephan, me & Petra after the springs in Hanmer...

Kaitlin & I

Sam my roommate & I

Lydia my other beautiful roommate!

Nate & I

Ben & I being silly...

There's this guy...

So There's this guy here in New Zealand that I've been falling more in love with each day I spend time with him. Yesterday I gave my entire self to him! It was amazing! The feeling was so indescribable, just like him. His name is Jesus. This weeek we have been talking about Lordship with Mark Parker as a speaker. He is the most amazingly real speaker I have ever listened to. The Lord uses him in such a way to get through to people. He really tells it like it is. He has a very distinctive way of speaking, it's more of screaming or yelling sometimes, but in a loving way, put it this way I didn't fall asleep this week. Some things that really spoke to me though were:

• God is real!
• With who you hang out with, is who you'll become!
• Be the right person for people to meet!
• Jesus includes us in his life, we don't include him in ours!
• If you're hungry for yourself you'll get nothing, if  you're hungry for God you'll get a lot!
• Women are kean to go, men are a little slow!
• A couragous person feels the fear but does it anyway!
• Boast about God not yourself!
• Earth is the tabernacle where God wants to dwell!
• We are made alive in Christ!
• Hangout with God, just be with him!
• Nothing will separate you from the love of God!
• We try to save ourselves, God needs to save us!
• Drop the expectations and Love people!
• Jesus is Unchanging!
• Your picture of God is what you are!
• Obedience to God is better than Sacrafice!
• Follow the great commandment before the great commission!
• The beginning of the race is easy, we need to finish well!
• We are the temple, we need to bear fruit!
• He must become Great, I must become Less!
• We are the products of the decisions we make!
• We know how to die for him but we need to know how to live for him!
• Be childlike not childish in your faith!
• Don't be a wilderness dweller!
• He invades us and we become what we're made to be!
• Salvation ain't man made!

The ones I made bold are the ones that really impacted my life this week! My life would suck without God. I'll share my testimony from yesterday but to give you a picture of what happened yesterday is this. We had base worship at 9am with everyone, then we went into the classroom where the cross was in the middle and everything was covered with a white sheet and the blinds were pulled down on the windows. It seemed like a very nice and peaceful place to be at. We started by playing music and worshiping God and giving thanks to him. The whole point was to have the anointing of the Holy Spirit in us. We had a fellowship offering and a burnt offering. For the fellowship offering you had to bring what you had to the cross infront of everyone just confessing what your are bringing to God and laying down before him. I brought my sunglasses as a symbol for me always hiding emotion and for me hiding from people I didn't want to talk to or see. I was crying because I am very good at hiding my emotion but I know that's not what God wants, so the glasses are off. For the burnt offering I gave up my anger towards people like my friends and family. I proclaimed it in Jesus' name that "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" it felt so good although I was crying I realized how much I've hurt people and need to ask frogiveness and give forgiveness. The whole day was amazing! He had things that guys and girls had to do as separate groups, but it was an individual battle for you. The guys linked arms and had to stand in the middle and praise God from the depths of their hearts, then fight through the linked arms to get out. The girls had a different thing because it is easier for girls to praise God from the bottom of their heart. So all the guys layed down on their stomachs making a path to the cross in the middle of the room and we had to walk on their backs praising God every step of the way. I was the second one to go, when I got up there I was excited but Mark looked at me and said "Courtney, oh, Courtney, you know I've been watching you all week, and you know what you're cute! (everyone laughs and says aww) I mean it!, you really love God and he really loves you, he shows it through you!" Right then I started crying and when I stepped on the guys backs I was crying every step of the way. I only stummbled in the beginning, But that symbolizes my relationship with God and how it took me a while to trust in him. But I do now. He is my everything.
Alright so my testimony is:
Everytime I would picture myself with God or go to that special place in my mind of where I could feel him was the wilderness. I would just sit in the wilderness and listen to the trees move for hours. This week God pulled me out of the wilderness and brought me to sit at a bench on the beach, the sun is shining, I'm the only one there, the waves are crashing on the shore, I'm not wearing sunglasses though, remember the glasses are off! So yesterday morning God put my feet in the water and it was warm calm water, then after all the offerings and after people praying for me, I was in where the waves are, in deeper water my feet were still touching the ground, but a wave came over my head and it was the Holy Spirit ripping off my veil that I've had on for so long and he washed me of everything and God said that I am his and He is Mine! It was one of the most powerful things I've ever experienced! I am in the water. Later on after things calmed down and we were still worshiping I felt as though the water settled and I was standing on top of the water looking at God. This is the picture I have in my heart, The picture of God that I live out everyday. It's a lifestyle not just an hour or two a week at church or an organization. You have to live it everyday!
Read the book of Hebrews to see God's love for us and to see what his plan is for us! I hope this encourages you to go out and live for God everyday! Make him the Lord of your life everyday! Live him out, Do the things he wants you to even if it means the most ridiculous thing like screaming in a harbor or lying in the middle of a road! When you do what he wants, you will be blessed so much! Humility is a key to God's heart! God Bless!

mmhmm

This week has been intense so far, not gonna lie. I really like Mark Parker as a speaker though. He is so real and just tells it like it is. I have really realized a lot about myself this week so far. On Friday we have lecture from 9am to 10pm. It's going to be an intense day I can feel it. It's exciting and I'm anticipating what God is going to do in my life and what he is going to have me lay down before him, so that my veil can be broken so that I can fully worship him. I admit that my attitude has not been the best these past couple days, I have just been thinking so much but I feel it's God's way of telling me to just stop and focus on him. Just shut up and listen! Right? I struggle with being still in him and knowing that he is there. Usually when I pray I do all the talking because so much is running through my head. I have been working on it though to get better. I hope everyone is doing good! God is whooping my butt down here...

Realness!

Today my granny called me and it was very sweet because she was thinking of me and wanted to make sure I was still alive and to make sure I had friends. It was a nice thing to wake up to. This week we have Mark Parker. He is pretty intense speaking on Lordship. I really like him so far just the way he puts things is awesome. I'll wait until the end of the week to tell you about it that way I have all the notes and experience to tell you about him. This week should be real interesting though. Tonight I went on a walk by myself down the road. It was really nice I met someone on the road a collie dog. She walked with me the entire way and stayed by my side. She reminds me of my dog Sally at home. It was good just what I needed, someone to accompany me but she couldn't talk she just listened. It was nice! Especially since there is just so much to think about. Like outreach and to see if missions is going to be long term for me or short term for me. To see what God has in store for me is so exciting and I am anticipating the outcome. I know I have changed since I've been here, for the better that is. I am a warrior everyday for God, he is preparing me for his battle. He puts us in situations that we have to rely on him to get us out of. He wants us to put our full trust in him so that he can save us and get us out. I love that. I just love to love. He is real and that's it. Goodnight!

There's TOO Much To Think About!

I am going through so much this week. I don't even know where to begin. A lot has to do with this past week all the snowboarders have left after they graduated on Friday. Today we went to Hanmer, to a hot springs spa. This place is loaded with pools of hot water, they are natural springs but they have been cleaned for people to sit in them. The place smells like rotten eggs because of the sulfur gas the water gives off. It was nice and relaxing but with it being a holiday weekend the place was kind of crowded. Next week we have Mark Parker for a speaker. I have been hearing a lot of things about him, he is teaching on lordship. I am ready to be broken for God if that's what it takes to serve him I'll do it. I am very excited for the lectures though. If he is as good as people are saying then it will be very powerful, but I will keep you updated on that. The weather here is bipolar! This morning it was sunny and very warm, then when we got back it changed to windy and freezing, now tonight it is breezy but warm. I don't understand it. I am doing much better with my health, I'm not sick anymore is what I mean. Thank You to all that prayed for me and for the base here. I really appreciate it! I hope everyone is doing good!

Half Way!

I cannot believe it is already half way through the lecture phase! It went so fast! Everyone is thinking and waiting for outreach. I was sitting in Lectures today and this verse came to me:

"O house of Israel, Declares the Lord, I am bringing a distant nation against you an ancient and enduring nation, a people whose language you do not know, whose speech you do not understand." - Jeremiah 5:15

This just makes me take a step back and think that God is bringing us to nations that are against Christians and Christianity. Who knows who will understand us or who we will understand. We met in our outreach teams for intercession today and prayed for the countries we were going to. God gave me a picture of an actual beating heart that is in place of Thailand. Also we will be dancing in the streets with joy and happiness. Ezekiel 25:15-17 which says:

"This is what the Sovereign Lord says: 'Because the Philistines acted in vengeance and took revenge with malice in their hearts, and with ancient hostility sought to destroy Judah, therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am about to stretch out my hand against the Philistines, and I will cut off the Kerethites and destroy those remaining along the coast. I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. then they will know that I am the Lord, when I take vengeance on them."

This is just amazing because it tells me that amazing things are going to happen while we are in Thailand and Cambodia. I really feel that there will be a huge change while we are there. Even in Christchurch on Friday nights when we just talk to a few people for a couple of hours, I love it. I was talking to my brother today and he really cheered me up, just having that person to talk to about anything or have a good laugh with is what I needed today. He was it, he couldn't really believe I was going to Thailand and Cambodia, he said I would probably never be home again. But I will be home don't worry, it may not be for long but I will be home probably in March or April. I'm not sure yet. We will have to see where God leads me to go and what I'm going to be doing. Who knows...

Snow, Really!

But the lord said to me, "Do not say, I am only a child. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. -Jeremiah 1:7-8
This past weekend all the snowboarders arrived back from outreach. There are now 40 extra people on base. We have 35 Girls living in one house with 3 bathrooms. It's crazy and overwhelming. I feel like it's the first week all over again which I find myself repeating: "What's your name?, Where are you from?, How old are you?" and I find myself answering the same questions: "Courtney, Wisconsin, 20." It's not that bad though they leave on Saturday. Jeremiah reminded me of when the lord called him to battle. I feel like this week is preparation for the battle and I don't think I'm ready yet. I know that's bad to say but Snowboarders or anyone that comes back from outreach has a lot of stuff and no place to put it since they are sleeping in our living room, so it looks like a bomb went off in there. I have really learned to appreciate my room. My roommates and I have been in here pretty much every night together just talking, laughing, telling stories, and having an amazing time! I love it.
I am so excited for outreach, each time I think about it I smile! Thailand and Cambodia are going to be beautiful. Thailand is one of the worlds biggest backpacker hubs. Because a lot of backpackers make a loop around Thailand. We start planning our trip on Thursday. The people on my outreach group are:
Seth - Leader
Mark - Leader
Stephen
Joel
Anya
Quinten
Tiare
If you could please pray for all of us we would really appreciate it. Another prayer request I have is since the snowboarders are back, everyone is stressed out because of the amount of people on base and how messy everything is, so if you could please pray for strength to get through it all, and for health I'm still sick with a cold, and others are sick as well. Thank You so much!

And the Answer Is...

Thank you to everyone that prayed for me and for Denver for the outreach decisions. We found out today where we are going and what teams we have. I am going to Thailand and Cambodia. I'm pretty excited because I know this is where God wants me and our team is pretty strong. It's going to be so much fun to impact a country that I've never been to. I'm so excited. The other teams are: 2 India teams, New Zealand and Fiji, then Thailand and Cambodia. So please be praying for us as we prepare everything to go to these countries. Thank You all so much!!!!

Servants

I just love everyone here. Today I am not feeling so good I woke up with a small fever and just hurting everywhere. I feel much better now that I caught up on sleep. But I love everyone we are all concerned for each other and want to serve each other. I'm the type of person that loves to serve others but I struggle with accepting someone else serving me. Everyone has a heart for something, there are a lot of servant hearts here, I am learning slowly but surly. I just challenge all of you to serve someone without them knowing. Just doing something great for someone without recognition...

Let's Go Dutch...

So last night I had a dream, most of the students here were in it we were standing in a circle just talking but we were all speaking dutch. I have a very good friend here who is from the Nederlands, Petra she is absolutely amazing. I think what brought this dream on was the fact that last night we had all the backpacker girls together, for our small group time. We had to ask God what he wanted us to confess to the rest of the group, something that we brought with us that we don't' want to leave this school with. Then we confessed and had the group pray over us. Well Petra prayed in dutch, which is amazing and I love it when she speaks her native language, because it feels more powerful and meaningful. So right after all of this I went to bed, and along came this dream.
Today all the backpackers got together as a group. For a team building bonding experience we had to put a piece of paper on our backs and you had to go and write encouraging things on the paper for the person. I loved it the things that people said on my piece of paper are:
"You have a beautiful personality and I am always so encouraged by your generosity with time and hugs"
"Your hugs rock my mornings"
"You make me laugh so hard I pee myself. Thank You"
"Your amazing hugs and constant cheerful attitude is amazing"
"You give hugs that actually bring joy to people"
"You are so hug able"
"You bring instant joy to any occasion"
"You have a gift in your pocket to make people smile like a rocket, you bring joy and realness"
"You are such an encouraging woman of God"
"The only thing better than your hug is the smile on your face right before you give them, you are such a true lover"
"You portray self confidence, you are a great example for all girls I also love your servant heart"
"I enjoy watching how you stick to things, and don't let things get in your way"
"You can make me smile even when I'm down and are an awesome sister in Christ"
"You are the most encouraging person I've ever met, your hugs make my day"
"I love the way you aren't afraid to love people"
"You are a giving woman and you bless everyone around you"
"You have such a wonderful heart for serving"
As you can see I am the hugger here and I love everyone so much they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. It's amazing to think that just over a month ago we all didn't know each other and we were all just arriving here. I just can't believe how amazing God is because he placed us all here and knew we would all get along. I love it!
The speaker this week is also dutch but he lives here in New Zealand. He is talking about the Nature and Character of God. It's a lot of history and looking at the way the apostles talk and act out Jesus in their lives. I find it very interesting and it makes me read passages differently. I observe more when I read now. I can't wait to hear what else he is going to teach us.
I love living in community, I never really lived in a dorm room setting because I went to a 7 month college, then straight into owning a business. Everyone here is so close to one another and everyone just loves each other and it really shows. I'm in a room with 5 girls including myself. Every night we are all in bed at the same time and we tell a bedtime story. We each tell a sentence or so. I love it, because we as a room bond and become closer. None of the other rooms really do that, they may talk but we are the only room that tells bedtime stories. Our stories are pretty interesting too.

Did someone Say Punk?

The survivors at the end of the night!

The amazing Laura & I

Natalie & I


The fabulous Group!

Petra & I

Katie & I

Jordan & I

Yesterday which was Monday we had an all girls dance party which 80's punk was the theme to dress up in. It was so much fun just to let loose and dance the night away. I think we all needed to release some pressure from this week and just to take our minds off things for a while. All the boys went camping overnight which they had fun too. It was all a great bonding experience for us. And of course we had fun doing it!